mistress_tien ([info]mistress_tien) wrote,
@ 2007-06-19 16:03:00
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Current mood: ecstatic
Entry tags:life, recs, s&h, s/a, s/x, sentinel

The waiting is over
I haven't been around for the last few weeks.  I've had some medical issues and have been awaiting results.  Unlike other people, when I'm ok I talk constantly; when I'm really worried I get really quiet.  So, I've been reading a ton, but not even commenting in many cases.  I just didn't have the wherewithall to even say "thanks".  My apologies to the many wonderful authors I've not thanked.  I will do my best to comment on further chapters.

The results?  So far, all negative.  We're down to dealing with the less scary issues. Cancer was ruled out today (all the biopsies came back negative!), but there might be a chronic issues to deal with.

Driving home from the doctor I got to thinking about why I get so quiet when I'm scared.  I think it's because 1) I worry that no one really cares, 2) I don't want anyone to worry about me, and 3) no one can really do anything anyway.   I don't know where in my background I came up with this group of emotional/mental issues, but there you go.


[info]orchidluv is completing Nothing the Same this week.  It's a lovely S/X story told from the beginning of season one.  Xander doesn't just let Jesse's death fade away, he actively questions the whole "vamps are bad" theory the Watcher is spouting.

Pivotal by [info]toobusy2write is an an all human AU with Spike as a rock star, Angel as his bodyguard, Xander as his step brother and a whole cast of Buffyverse characters to fill in the rest of the band and entourage.  The story is just getting going, but I my interest is piqued.  It's A/S.

First Evil by [info]50ftqueenie. S/X. WIP. Season 4 of AtS is cut off at the knees when Xander arrives and can see right through Cordy's possession.  This story has a lot of dark badness from Xander's childhood.

There's Always a Sneer in Vegas by [info]stillrose. S/X WIP.  It's an alternate vampire universe and both Xander (as a slave) and Spike (as part of Angelus' evil vampire universe) have histories here.  So far we've found out a lot about the horrors Xander has survived, but I hope we find out more about Spike as well.  I've settled in for a long, interesting ride for this story.

Control Issues by [info]lit_gal continues to be totally gripping.  Jim and Blair in an alternate Sentinel universe.  There's little to no sex in this one, but lit_gal is such an amazing writer.  I don't need porn because I find her characters so gripping.  Hot Sentinel/Guide sex will be nice at some point though ;-)

Now for something really different (and I mean really different!).

Leather Bound by [info]elyxer is my first foray into the world of Queer as Folk.  Yummy BDSM, but not an all-porn fic.  I find the characters very interesting and the way they work their lives and the Scene into their lives is fascinating to me.  This fic is very recently completed.

Bound to the Law by Dawnwind is a Starsky and Hutch BDSM fic. It's very, very long, and extremely hot.  She has a bunch of stories on this page.  There are five parts so far and she's got a sixth in mind; each part is complete, so you won't be caught in a WIP.  Again, it's the way the author works the characters' lives in and around their Scenes that I like.  I especially like the limits these two put on themselves as they play.

I also found Entourage and started watching it while I was ignoring the world.  I just started season three.  I love these boys and assume someone is slashing them.  I'll go hunting for Vince/E later this week.


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[info]shanmara
2007-06-19 09:08 pm UTC (link)
Good to "see" you back and with better news.
Don't think that the way you're reacting is the sign of an emotional issue -maybe it's just because I react the same way- but no, thinking of it: a wounded animal hides.

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[info]mistress_tien
2007-06-19 10:04 pm UTC (link)
Wow. That makes a lot of sense. I know that women are "supposed" to talk and vent and cry and worry, but I just don't do that. I am comfortable shutting up, fixing it, and killing things (not literially at this point).

Thanks for the support. I'm thrilled to be cancer-free.

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[info]jans_intentions
2007-06-19 09:09 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you are okay. xx

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[info]mistress_tien
2007-06-19 10:04 pm UTC (link)
Thanks!

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[info]elyxer
2007-06-19 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Glad to hear everything is okay, or at least it's nothing too scary. I just wanted to thank you again for the rec and I promise not to keep you waiting too long for Collar Bound.
Hugs,
Rena

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[info]mistress_tien
2007-06-19 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Thanks much.

I love your icon!

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[info]lit_gal
2007-06-19 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Oh hon, I'm so sorry. And I totally understand the going quiet bit. The doctor tested me for pituitary gland cancer, and the idea of brain cancer so totally freaked me out (because it does run in the family) that I didn't tell anyone. Saying it would have made it more real. So I understand the quiet but I hope you know that no.1 is totally NOT true. Lots and lots of us care!

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[info]mistress_tien
2007-06-19 11:46 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, dear!

Both my parents died before they were 55, one of cancer, so as I rapidly approach 50 I kinda feel like I'm living on the edge.

My insecurities just shine through at times like this. I didn't even tell my RL friends, even though I did tell my siblings (I talk to one of them almost every day).

I feel better that so many LJ friends have commented on my post. Since I don't write, I don't have that big of a friends list. I *do* feel loved!

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[info]lit_gal
2007-06-19 11:50 pm UTC (link)
You don't have to write be be a good person, and you are. That's why people care.

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[info]mistress_tien
2007-06-20 03:06 am UTC (link)
Thanks much.

I know that writers tend to have tons of friends because everyone is waiting for a new chapter. I'm honored that so many amazing writers have friended me back. You and Jan are goddesses in my fic world and I'm thrilled to count you as friends.

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[info]i_luv_trees
2007-06-22 09:21 am UTC (link)
Hi you!
I'm a little late, but yay!!! for the good news. I've been doing some rl stuff myself the past week or so, but its really good that the big worries are off the table. It's hard to gather your thoughts when stuff's on your mind, but you can always go back and reread stuff and comment then, which is double good 'cause of the reading good stuff and leaving the love for it. And the second read is usually better, at least for me :)

Everyone deals with things differently, and it's kinda funny, but I'm the exact same way, when life is good I never shut up, but when it gets rocky I tend to bottle it up inside, and then spew it all at once. I could tell something was up with you, and with all my own rl issues I just backed off and let it ride, I kinda thought it was just summer stuff, had no idea it was so serious. But I am so glad that the news was good, and when everything is good let me know, 'cause I've got a ton of stuff written, and some plot points I'd love to bounce around with you, if you get some time for it.

Sending you lots of hugs and good vibes, C

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[info]mistress_tien
2007-06-22 07:13 pm UTC (link)
I got more good news today. The hip pain is bursitis and a shot of steroids is supposed to take care of it! I should know if the shot worked in a few days. Yeah!

Send on whatever you've got, when you feel like it. I'm working two jobs this summer, but they are reasonably mindless and I'll feel like reading when I get home.

Thanks for the good thoughts!

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